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Joan Jerkovich Says Goodbye

My faithful listeners have been hearing me say that this weekend will be my last broadcast on 910 KINA.  After Saturday and Sunday at 9am, The Joan Jerkovich Show will go silent on KINA.  While my last radio show is all about saying our goodbyes, this, my last blog for the Eagle Media post.com will leave you with my message of how to make your dreams a reality. 

Two short years ago, having my own talk radio show was simply a dream that I had.  Today it is a reality.  The dream that I have for the future of my talk radio show and my writing is yet to unfold, but I can’t leave KINA without thanking my radio mentors, my co-workers, and most especially Jerry Hinrikus for seeing something in me that I maybe didn’t see in myself and for giving me this opportunity to live out my dream!

Thanks also to my faithful listeners and followers.  It would be an honor and a privilege to have you stay in touch via my website, joanjerkovich.com.  As “Your” Life Coach, I welcome you to walk by my side as together we make our dreams a reality!

 

Make Your Dreams a Reality

Dreaming about what we want in life is the fun part.  It’s where we languish in the thoughts that fuel our fantasies for that life we’ve always wanted to live…but just haven’t gotten around to accomplishing yet.

Do you dream of being financially independent where you can spend your days on whatever strikes your fancy?  Or, do you dream of having that great relationship or job that just hasn’t seemed to come your way?  How about, do you dream about doing something big in life that will leave an imprint on humanity or the world once you’re gone?  No matter how big or small your dream is, it’s your divine right to choose how to live your life.  So, turn your dreams into reality by following these steps:

Dream Big

The dreams that you have held dear for many years are most likely the ones that you will be able to sustain and achieve, so, take that dream and make it bigger than life!  Get a little crazy with your dream and make it look, in your mind, like a blockbuster movie that you have created.  Put in the sights and smells, set the stage and don your costume, all the while visualizing yourself in the starring role.  Give your Life Dream a name and plaster it on the biggest, most obnoxious movie marquee you can visualize.  Know in your being that what you are seeing is a new beginning in your life!

Gauge your Commitment

Making your dreams a reality will require commitment, consistency, discipline and drive.  Either ponder these in your mind or write them on a piece of paper then come up with a plan for how you are going to keep these necessary components of success active and alive as you move forward with your plan to make your dream a reality.

Talk Back to Your Barriers

Many people don’t achieve their dreams because barriers such as fear of failure or success or change get in the way.  Other common barriers are self-doubt, feeling like they won’t know what steps to take or like they’ll look or sound “stupid” or “incompetent” taking those first few steps toward their dream.  Other barriers can be mental or physical health problems, addictions, relationship challenges or financial woes.  Whatever your barriers are, talk back to them or make a plan to resolve them, so that your mind and energy can be freed up to move forward with creating a new life for yourself.

Gather Success Tools

If your dream requires that you learn a new skill set or seek knowledge or get specialized training, do just that.  If you need money to launch your new project get creative with how you’re going to raise capital.  While money can seem to be the biggest barrier toward achieving dreams, many very successful people grew their companies from the ground up by simply working hard and growing slowly.  Often, those are the companies that are still in operation today because they built-in to their company ways do more with less money.

Set a Plan of Action

Dreams don’t just happen.  For them to become a reality you need to get up off the couch and do something!  To reap the rewards of actualizing your dreams, you need to have a plan of action, set a time frame for accomplishing your goals and be mindful of consistently moving forward, keeping the end goal in sight.  Easier said than done…but a necessary component, especially when challenges arise.  Expect to have challenges and setbacks and they will be easier to deal with when they rear their ugly head.

Build in Accountability

Letting someone know of your dreams and goals helps keep you on track and on task.  Make them your accountability partner and ask them to specifically help encourage you when you start to lose focus and determination.  Often, when the going gets tough, it takes grit and discipline to keep moving toward your goal.  Don’t be a quitter or give up.  Some day you’ll look back on what you’ve achieved and wonder how you ever accomplished all you did!  Yeah!

The Most Critical Component for Success

If you make achieving your dream your Life’s Legacy, it will fuel your passion to create a new reality.  The Life Coaching callers that I talk with get the most passionate and excited when they feel that to achieve their dream would be to achieve a greater purpose in their lives.  They often equate their dream to their life mission that will leave the world, and humanity, in a better place.

What Life Legacy will you leave the world and mankind as you seek to make your dreams a reality?

– Making Your Dreams Come To Life Podcast –

 

Please SHARE this on Facebook and lend your COMMENTS ~ we learn from each other!

Follow Joan’s Life Coaching Questions, Podcasts, Blogs and Empowering Messages at www.joanjerkovich.com

Last week’s posts for you to read and comment on:

  • Family Fights Over Politics
  • Will My Abuser Change?
  • Emotional & Physical Abuse
  • Violence Repeating in Relationships
  • Violent Boyfriends Endanger Children
  • Geeky Guy Shy Around Girls
  • Co-Dependent Relationships
  • Mixed Messages in Relationship
  • On Again – Off Again Boyfriend
  • Unhealthy Relationships Destroy Health
  • Mistrust Boyfriend?

Be Sure to Visit www.JoanJerkovich.com and Subscribe to win tickets to ZZ TOP!!!

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Joan Jerkovich, BCC
Joan Jerkovich, BCC

 

Joan Jerkovich is a Board Certified Life Coach.  Email her your questions @ tjjs.radio@gmail.com, or arrange a time to talk with Joan in person on her radio talk show at www.joanjerkovich.com.

Listen to “The Joan Jerkovich Show” weekends @9am on 910 KINA

WIN ZZ TOP TICKETS!!! Click to Read: Hurt Husband Watches Porn?

I caught my husband watching porn on his computer.  I was very hurt.  Am I not good enough for him?

Men and porn.  Let’s start with the research.  Men are hard-wired to look at porn yet only 26 percent routinely do and of those 5% have a problem with it…from WebMD.  Assuming that your husband is not one of the problematic viewers, and that he is still interested in you sexually, this is one of those issues to chalk up as “men will be men”.  Men are visual creatures and their biology, a.k.a. “hormones”, set them up to crave the brain feed they get with sexual excitement.  It has to do with their always needing to be ready to propagate the species.

Talk with him about how this makes you feel.  If you have a strong religious belief that it is a sin to watch porn, this will be a particularly distressing issue for you.  To honor your sensibilities, he may even agree to quit watching porn, but, (and this is a BIG butt!) don’t be surprised if he doesn’t totally quit but just goes underground with his viewing.  Bolster your resolve to have a frank discussion on this topic…it may open the door to improving your sex life and intimacy.

Whatever you do, don’t let your man’s biology leave you feeling hurt and not good enough.  Besides, he doesn’t want a skanky porn star!  He wants You!  The mother to his children, the person who loves him and still finds him sexy regardless of the pooch around his middle, his thinning hair and all his imperfections!

Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~

  • What are the issues, if any, with the sexual relationship you have with your husband?
  • Where will you find your personal power woman who braves this difficult conversation?
  • How will you remain open to honoring him as a man while honoring your need to feel loved and respected?

Please SHARE this on Facebook and lend your COMMENTS ~ we learn from each other!

Last week’s questions for you to read and comment on:

  • Triggering Old Wounds
  • Stepson with ADD Affecting Marraige
  • Work Hard but Can’t Get Ahead
  • Men and Toilet Seats
  • Male Pride Affected by Illness

Be Sure to Visit www.JoanJerkovich.com and Subscribe to win tickets to ZZ TOP!!!

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Joan Jerkovich, BCC
Joan Jerkovich, BCC

Joan Jerkovich is a Board Certified Life Coach. Contact her with your questions, or arrange a time to talk with Joan in person on her radio talk show at www.joanjerkovich.com.

Follow Joan’s Life Coaching questions Daily and share your COMMENTS at www.joanjerkovich.com

Listen to “The Joan Jerkovich Show” weekends @9am on 910 KINA

WIN ZZ TOP TICKETS!!! Click to Read: Work Hard but Can’t Get Ahead?

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Visit www.JoanJerkovich.com to Subscribe!

What can I do about the fact that no matter how hard I work I can’t ever seem to get ahead?

In these difficult economic times, I hear this all too often…so many people have lost their jobs and are struggling either to find a job or make do in a new job where their pay and benefits have been cut. Lean times come and go (or at least I remain hopeful that better times will again find us), so accept the tried and true saying of “this too shall pass”. Hold on to that hope, but also be practical in taking action to better your chances for getting ahead.

Sit down and take the time to objectively analyze why you seem to be working hard, only to be left with so little in your bank account at the end of each month. If you don’t have the facts, you don’t have a starting point from which to better your situation, so write down everything using “Money In” and “Money Out” columns. Be honest with yourself in looking at whether you are overspending for your income. Case studies I’ve heard of people who’ve gotten themselves out of debt, all carried the discipline of closely monitoring the “In” and “Out” columns.

Remember too that getting ahead isn’t all about watching your spending~it’s also about looking for a better job, taking a second job, or asking for that long overdue raise (Yes! Even in this economy good employees are getting raises!). Whatever plan of action you set forth, do it with an attitude geared for success…no one likes to work with a grumpity grump!

Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~
• What motivates you to quit living paycheck to paycheck?
• How will you cultivate and nurture a new mindset geared toward getting ahead?
• Who will you align with to keep you accountable to stick with the goals you have set for yourself?

Please SHARE this on Facebook and lend your COMMENTS ~ we learn from each other!

Last week’s questions for you to read and comment on:

  • Men and Toilet Seats
  • Male Pride Affected by Illness
  • Critical Daughter-In-Law
  • Spouse Sneaks Cigarettes
  • Same Fight After Married 27 Years
Joan Jerkovich, BCC
Joan Jerkovich, BCC

Joan Jerkovich is a Board Certified Life Coach. Contact her with your questions, or arrange a time to talk with Joan in person on her radio talk show at www.joanjerkovich.com.

Follow Joan’s Life Coaching questions Daily and share your COMMENTS at www.joanjerkovich.com

Listen to “The Joan Jerkovich Show” weekends @9am on 910 KINA

Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Male Pride Affected by Illness?

I’m a 56-year-old man who has always been the person who took care of everyone else.  Two months ago I got diagnosed with Diabetes.  My male pride has made this hard because I’ve never before needed help. I have a hard time asking for help for myself and feel guilty that I’m not able to do for others since my health has been affected.  How can I cope?

Self-sacrificing, generous people who are always there to help others do have a hard time allowing others to help them.  If you identify closely with that persona, this is a huge role reversal for you.  Add this to your shocking health scare and I’m guessing your stress level is off the scale!  Have you heard the saying that “before we can take care of others we need to take care of ourselves first”?  This is so true in your case.  I want you to really hear that and take it to heart.  Embrace it and know that in due time you will get your Diabetes under control to the point that you can get back to being your old self.

Also, know that as you step back and drop the male pride to care for yourself, you are teaching the boys and young men in your life (who look up to you) how to be a Real Man!  Real Men know that if the warrior isn’t fit for battle he needn’t show up with the troops.  You’re in temporary medical readiness mode.  You’ll be sound and fit to lead and care for your troops soon enough!  Soldier on good man!

Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~

  • How will you accept this new challenge in your life?
  • What things can you do to minimize your stress?
  • How will you tell those people in your life, who have always been dependent on you, that you’re not quite fit for duty?
  • How is this crisis helping you to be a better man and a better role model to other men and boys in your life?
  • What life lessons are you learning as you go through this challenging health crisis?

Please SHARE this on Facebook and lend your COMMENTS ~ we learn from each other!

Last week’s questions for you to read and comment on:

  • Critical Daughter-In-Law
  • Spouse Sneaks Cigarettes
  • Same Fight After Married 27 Years
  • Family Vacation Tensions
  • Low Self Esteem
Joan Jerkovich, BCC
Joan Jerkovich, BCC

Joan Jerkovich is a Board Certified Life Coach. Contact her with your questions, or arrange a time to talk with Joan in person on her radio talk show at www.joanjerkovich.com.

Follow Joan’s Life Coaching questions Daily and share your COMMENTS at www.joanjerkovich.com

Listen to “The Joan Jerkovich Show” weekends @9am on 910 KINA

Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~ Low Self Esteem?

Ever since I was young, I have had this message running through my head that “I’m not good enough”. When I look at all I have accomplished and the person that I am, I realize that this message isn’t true.  What can I do to improve my self-esteem?

Thank you for this question because I get so many Life Coaching callers who tell me that they believe the mistakes they’ve made in life, the poor choices they have made, resulted from their low self esteem.  When they recognize this fact, this is always a solid starting point to change the perceptions they espouse in regard to themselves.  One habit that is often revealed in their calls, is that they constantly talk down to themselves.  Often, I hear them say that the things they say to themselves in their head they would NEVER say to anyone else!  One caller named his self talk(er) his inner Bully!

Self-talk is key to self-esteem.  Change your negative self talk to positive by first becoming aware of what you say to yourself, about yourself, via your private iTunes Playlist running through your mind.  One way to recognize negative self-talk is to notice feeling down, upset, discouraged, or frustrated.  When that “icky” feeling hits, slow down enough to listen to what you are saying to yourself.  Once you recognize your negative self-talk try these strategies:  scold it, talk back to it, shut it down or tune it out.  On the positive: replace it with positive comments, affirmations and self-praise.  Don’t play that~but I must be humble~game with yourself here!  You deserve to tell yourself how incredible, amazing, superhuman and superdivine you are!  It is Our honor to share this space on earth with you!!

Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~

  • What strategy will you implement to begin to “hear” your self-talk?
  • What actions can you implement to help you in tune out or turn the dial on your negative Playlist?
  • What activities do you find bolster your self-esteem?
  • How can you incorporate more of these activities into your life?
  • Who can you count on to tell you what a super special person you are?  (Spend some time with them soaking in their unconditional love and acceptance~I trust you will leave dripping with positive self regard!)

Please SHARE this on Facebook and lend your COMMENTS ~ we learn from each other!

Last week’s questions for you to read and comment on:

  • Spouse Disagrees with Donation for Tornado
  • Elderly Hoarder
  • Negative Family
  • Texted through Dinner Out
  • Husband Neglecting Family for Golf
Joan Jerkovich, BCC
Joan Jerkovich, BCC

Joan Jerkovich is a Board Certified Life Coach. Contact her with your questions, or arrange a time to talk with Joan in person on her radio talk show at www.joanjerkovich.com.

Follow Joan’s Life Coaching questions Daily and share your COMMENTS at www.joanjerkovich.com

Listen to “The Joan Jerkovich Show” weekends @9am on 910 KINA

Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Husband Neglecting Family for Golf?

My husband spends so much time on the Golf course I feel like he’s neglecting his duties as a father and husband.  How can I get him to spend more time with us and less on golf?

Balance.  That’s the first word that came to mind when I read your question.  I’m a big believer in that we all need our leisure activities, our friends and hobbies, but if the balance of time we spend with others really does neglect our family…or is perceived to be neglecting our family…then we have a problem.  Maintaining a good relationship requires good negotiation skills.  Both parties need to get their needs met, but they should not look solely to their partner to meet those needs.  This is where negotiating with your husband for what you want and need comes in to play.

First, I suggest that you honor him by accepting his passion for golf.  Let him know that you support him in spending time with activities that make him happy.  If that sounds like a hard thing for you to do, start by looking at the things you do that he’s not crazy about but has to accept in relationship with you.  You know, girlfriend, that he’s got his list too!!  Also, make sure that you are living your best life and not depending on him to satisfy something that you feel is missing inside you or in your life.  That said, if he is not being a true partner to you, bring on your Power Woman and go after what you need.  Get it?  Got it!  Good!!

Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~

  • How do you show your husband that you honor his independence and leisure time away from you and the kids?
  • Only you know what works with your husband…how are you going to convey to him that you either need or want more time from him?
  • Can you embrace approaching this with a mindset geared toward flexibility, compromise and not having to completely get your way (part of any successful negotiation)?
  • Can you accept a small victory in this area for now, understanding that the two of you can address this again in the future if your current agreement isn’t working for both of you?

Please SHARE this on Facebook and lend your COMMENTS ~ we learn from each other!

Last week’s questions for you to read and comment on:

  • Your Not Invited
  • Crush on Gay Friend
  • Build a Christian Company
  • Co-worker Gossips
  • Friend as Business Partner
Joan Jerkovich, BCC
Joan Jerkovich, BCC

Joan Jerkovich is a Board Certified Life Coach. Contact her with your questions, or arrange a time to talk with Joan in person on her radio talk show at www.joanjerkovich.com.

Follow Joan’s Life Coaching questions Daily and share your COMMENTS at www.joanjerkovich.com

Listen to “The Joan Jerkovich Show” weekends @9am on 910 KINA

Hostage Abduction and Abuse: The Joan Jerkovich Show

Hearing about attempted abductions and kidnappings on our local evening news is nothing new to us as a society. However, the most recent headline-making story about the abduction of three women, in Cleveland, Ohio, held captive and missing for almost ten years… a whole decade, has grabbed our entire nation’s immediate attention and gotten many of us asking the same question:  “How could this have even happened?”

Ariel Castro, 52 years old, abducted three women, all in the same manner, ten years ago by offering each one of them rides… Michelle Knight, now 32, was offered a ride home by Castro in August of 2002.  Instead, Castro took Michelle to his own house in a poverty-stricken neighborhood of Cleveland. Amanda Berry, now 27, was offered a ride to work by Castro and taken captive as well.  Gina Dejesus, the youngest abductee, now 23, knew Castro’s own daughter at the time (she was only fourteen) and felt that it was okay for her to get inside of the vehicle with him.  She had no reason to think otherwise and Castro promised her that they were, in fact, going to his house so that she could meet up with his daughter there…

During their captivity, all three women were initially chained to Castro’s basement walls.  Eventually, he “freed” the women from the basement, moving them to separate rooms on the second floor of his two-story house, where they were kept completely isolated from one another.  Michelle, the oldest abductee, was impregnated at least five times by Castro, who reportedly starved her and punched her in the stomach until she miscarried.  Amanda was impregnated by Castro and forced to deliver her baby, Jocelyn, in a plastic pool inside of the house. Castro made Michelle help deliver Amanda’s daughter and told her that if the baby died, so would she…

According to authorities, the three women were only let outside of Castro’s house twice in the ten years that they were held captive there.  Still, it’s hard to believe that no calls or reports were ever made to law enforcement to investigate any suspicious activity on the property. Castro’s neighbors talk about having “backyard barbecues” with him and how he would give kids in the neighborhood rides on the back of his motorcycle.  He was also a musician in a local band and some of his neighbors had played gigs with him before.  From this “viewpoint,” it would seem that Castro was living a fairly unassuming and, by all accounts, pretty normal life…  This is probably one of the most disturbing qualities about these abusers/abductors; how they can so easily put on a façade and publically hide who they really are, even from their own neighbors.

Be sure to check out this week’s podcast where I go into further detail about these abductions, including the short and long-term effects on these victims, and what preventative measures (if any) we, as a society, can take to help protect ourselves and our children and hopefully, keep this from happening… yet again.

-Hostage and abuse Podcast-

Editorial content by Kim Matchette

Please SHARE this on Facebook and lend your COMMENTS ~ we learn from each other!

Last week’s questions for you to read and comment on:

  • Using a Guy You’re Dating
  • Intimate with Co-worker
  • Empty Nest
  • Confident in Conversation
  • Marry Girlfriend who Drinks too much
Joan Jerkovich, BCC
Joan Jerkovich, BCC

Joan Jerkovich is a Board Certified Life Coach. Contact her with your questions, or arrange a time to talk with Joan in person on her radio talk show at www.joanjerkovich.com.

Follow Joan’s Life Coaching questions Daily and share your COMMENTS at www.joanjerkovich.com

Listen to “The Joan Jerkovich Show” weekends @9am on 910 KINA

Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Friend as Business Partner?

I’ve started a new home business and it has finally started to take off to where I can’t keep up with filling orders.  My good friend has been looking for work and has proposed the idea of us going in to partnership together.  I’ve already laid a lot of the groundwork for the business and am not sure about taking on a partner versus hiring an employee.  I’m also not sure about working with a friend.  What do I need to consider here?

First, list all the things you need help with.  If the primary thing you need help with is to fill orders, this is not the job of a business partner; this is the job of an employee.  If you would like to subspecialize within your business, then you may want to consider bringing on a partner.  The business partnerships that work the best are the ones that compliment each other, such as, you like managing the production and distribution side of things and your partner likes managing the administrative and sales side of the business.

That said, you should carefully consider how your two personalities mesh.  A business partnership is akin to a marriage in the complexity and commitment it takes to keep it running smoothly.  Also, a true business partnership takes both of you having some “skin in the game”, meaning, you both invest capital monies toward expenses, equipment etc.  I’ve had more than one person want to “partner” with me in business that had no intention of bringing any money to the table; and they wanted to take home a regular paycheck to boot!  I call those people employees, not partners.  Finally, if you do go in to partnership with your good friend, be prepared to lose the friendship if things go sour.  It can happen…

Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~

  • List all of the things you need help with in your business.
  • Which of these tasks would you be willing to let someone else handle?
  • How do you feel about bringing a partner on after you have done the hard work of getting your business off the ground?
  • Do you work well in partnerships or are you more of a lone ranger?
  • What vision do you have for how you want to run your company and does it include having a partner?
  • Is this a friendship you are willing to risk losing?

Please SHARE this on Facebook and lend your COMMENTS ~ we learn from each other!

Last week’s questions for you to read and comment on:

  • Using a Guy you’re Dating
  • Intimate with Co-Worker
  • Empty Nest
  • Confident in Conversation
  • Marry Girlfriend Who Drinks Too Much
Joan Jerkovich, BCC
Joan Jerkovich, BCC

Joan Jerkovich is a Board Certified Life Coach. Contact her with your questions, or arrange a time to talk with Joan in person on her radio talk show at www.joanjerkovich.com.

Follow Joan’s Life Coaching questions Daily and share your COMMENTS at www.joanjerkovich.com

Listen to “The Joan Jerkovich Show” weekends @9am on 910 KINA

Bombing Victims, Veterans live with Amputations: The Joan Jerkovich Show

crutchesI cannot get out of my mind, the many pictures that we’ve seen, of the trauma that wreaked havoc at the Boston Marathon bombings. In particular, I’ve been concerned for the people who lost limbs in these bombings. We know the bomb that was put in the pressure cooker, apparently had BB’s and other metal loaded in it, creating more damage to the victims. This show is about what it’s like for people who’ve lost lower legs and limbs.

This blog is taken from “The Joan Jerkovich Show” radio transcript and edited for easier reading. Listen to the Podcast and post your COMMENTS at -THIS LINK-

In the Boston Marathon bombing, most of the trauma was to the lower extremities or the legs, yet people who’ve also had some sort of illness or injury or war injury that’s taken the arms as well, are often so much more challenged with getting back to normal life than someone who lost a leg. When we look at those people, who have successfully accomplished and achieved working with a prosthesis, like the Olympian that ran in the first Olympics with a prosthetic leg, we can’t quite fully grasp the unique and individual struggles that have been met to do so.

I wanted to share with my listeners this morning some of what it really takes for these people to go through this process. I found an interesting article written by Oren Dorell, for USA Today, that was talking about how many of the veterans who lost their limbs in the Iraq and Afghanistan wars, went on a trip to Boston to provide support and information to those who were injured in the Boston bombings. As we know, at least 15 people have lost their lower limbs in this bombing to date. This added up to the highest number of civilians who’ve had this kind of multiple traumatic injuries in our country. The article said that these veterans showed up in Boston to talk to these patients and they found them all just sitting there, looking so dejected, and feeling like their whole world, their whole lives, had been turned upside down; but within a half an hour later, many of them were laughing and didn’t want the veterans to leave. They were there to give the kind of support you can only get from those who’ve been through exactly what they’re (the Boston bombing amputees) experiencing right now?

The Veterans said that some common questions these patients had were, “How do you shower? How are you able to get back to doing the things that you love or like doing? How are we going to go on the beach or ride a bicycle? How about driving a car or going to work?” Their biggest concerns are always going to be about not being able to live their life the way they want after this traumatic injury. One of the servicemen was quoted as saying, “Accepting the injury and moving on is crucial. You figure out what you need to do to get back to a normal life and you do it.”

These war veterans traveled to Boston representing the Semper Fi fund, which is raising money for these victims. They want to help them with these prosthetic devices, which I was shocked to hear, can run as high as $100,000 dollars. What you need to realize is that the prosthetic devices are unique to the types of activities you do. You may need one to go back to being a jogger. You may need a different one for something related to your specific work. There are specialized prosthetics for swimming and all types of activities. If just one of those costs $100,000 dollars, you can imagine the challenges these amputees have ahead of them, not to mention the emotional trauma they’re going through.

You know, while these victims of the Boston bombings come to mind, these 15 victims, we cannot turn our backs on the numbers of amputees coming back from war in Iraq and Afghanistan, which total almost 600. But where those numbers seem astronomical to me, there is a much smaller group of our war veterans that fall into the categories that they call, “the quadruple amputee.” There are only five of those. Then they also have the “triple amputees” and there are 40 of those. Of course, quadruple amputees are the ones who’ve lost both arms and both legs. Can you imagine?

An article by CNN writer, Steve Almasy, in October 2012, which of course was before the Boston bombings, talked about the actor, Gary Sinise. We all remember Gary’s character from “Forrest Gump” as the double amputee. In real life, Gary Sinise is involved with helping amputees raise money for the very specialized homes that they need to function fully in their lives. In this article, the point was made, that years ago, in wars, these amputees would not have survived on the battlefield. No one that had their arms and legs blown off would have ever survived the loss of blood. Advances in the battlefield medical treatment and the immediate treatment of the soldiers, has helped prolong their lives. Also, they say the body armor that they wear today on the battlefield, has quite a bit to do with the survival rate.

The serviceman pictured with Gary Sinise, in this article, was Todd Nicely. He was in Afghanistan when an explosion from a pressure plate on a roadside bomb was triggered. He didn’t even realize at the time that he had lost his legs and needed to have amputations, even of his arms. It seems that they (the soldiers) can have such adrenaline flowing during wartime, that they don’t even recognize that they’ve had this traumatic injury until after the fact. I’m sure this is a similar scenario with the Boston marathon bombings that happened with those people on the sidelines and the runners who were taken by surprise. Corporal Nicely talked about how, in another wartime, he would’ve died on the battlefield. But once again, the body armor we talked about, the helicopter arriving in just six minutes to pick him up, and the quick reactions he credited to his fellow Marines, all helped him to live and become just the second quadruple amputee to ever survive battlefield injury wounds.

The first quadruple amputee that was wounded and survived was Brendan Marrocco, 22 years old. Thanks to the efforts of actor Gary Sinise, and a foundation called “Tunnel to Towers,” Brendan lives in a specially equipped home that has special features like stoves and sinks that move up and down. The home has elevators in areas that most of us wouldn’t think of and a heated outdoor wheelchair ramp, because he needs to melt the snow so he can get around. It also has appliances that are all controlled by computers. Keep this foundation in mind. It’s called, “Tunnel to Towers” and they’ve agreed to build 11 more homes, hopefully in this year for other quadruple amputees or even for the triple amputees.

I’d like to bring this closer to home and put out some information on the realities of what it’s like to have an amputation and to rehabilitate from that. Right after being carted off the streets of Boston from this bombing these victims probably very soon woke up after having surgery to amputate their legs, and most of these, again, were lower leg amputations. They’d wake up and have a big bandage on, they’d have a cast on, and they’d have a drainage tube in. When you read stories about people who’ve had this and they just wake up to that realization that, “I don’t have my leg anymore” or “I don’t have my legs anymore…” I can’t even imagine what that would be like. Then it takes a good 3 to 4 weeks for the actual wounds from the surgery to heal.

I’d watched one of the surgeons interviewed right after this and he said, “We weren’t really amputating. We were just finishing what the bombs started…” meaning that the amputations were pretty much there. They were just cleaning them up and making the limb more usable to fit with a prosthetic later on…but it takes about 3 to 4 weeks for these wounds to actually heal. They heal with a scar and then the internal healing takes another year to a year and a half.

So what do these victims have to look forward to in that time? First of all, they do have a lot of trouble with pain, as we can imagine, from any surgery or any traumatic injury. They’re going to have a lot of trouble with swelling, so they have to wear a compression bandage to keep the swelling down. In this situation too, it helps to mold their limb so that it will fit better into the prosthesis. That’s a very big part of the immediately postoperative weeks after this traumatic amputation.

In this time the wound is going to feel really weird… not to just say hey, I don’t have a leg anymore or I don’t have an arm anymore, but it’s going to feel really odd. They say it can really feel supersensitive and we’ve also heard of that thing called, “phantom pain”, where they can sort of feel a residual pain from the fresh wound. There’s been immense trauma to the bones and the nerves, so they are going to have a phantom pain sometimes where, even though the foot is gone, they may feel like they’re having pain there.

It takes a good 10 days before the wound is ready for them to try, what they call, an “interim prosthetic.” This prosthetic is just what it means. It’s just kind of a temporary one that can help them begin to get back on their feet.

Think about it… you lose a leg above the knee or even below the knee and you’ve lost a lot of tissue, a lot of muscle, a lot of weight. You’re going to have a lot of balance problems. One other thing that people talk about is how you’re going to have to put almost 80% of the workload on your surviving leg, if you have a surviving leg, to make up for the one that you lost. The prosthetic will come in and gets to feeling like it at least gives you that initial balance, because of the weight of the prosthetic. But you have to first learn to stand… you have to learn how to walk. You have to learn how to sit and how to get back up again. You have to learn how to do stairs. You have to learn how to go up a ramp, down the ramp… things that we don’t even think about it.

I want you to think about this, not just for our Boston victims, but also for our war victims that have to live with amputations. Think about when you get out of your car, what they have to do differently. When you walk into your home, up those few steps, what they have to do differently with their prosthetic limb. They can go back to swimming and jogging, even mountain climbing. With a special type of prosthesis, they can do almost unlimited things. But, the truth of it is, this doesn’t happen overnight and it takes many, many months and sometimes, even years for them to get comfortable enough with their prosthetic to where they can get back to that full life. The rule of thumb is that it’s going to take these amputees about six months to become really independent, not only with caring for their prosthesis, but of course with all the mobility that they need to be trained, once again, to do. Getting back to work is their priority and getting back to their normal lives is their priority. For those of us that have not been victims of these very vicious terrorist attacks, we should all be mindful of the challenges that lay ahead for these people as we go about our normal daily lives.

The emotional component is a huge piece of recovering from this kind of traumatic accident or amputation. As you can imagine, there’s a huge grieving process that goes on. They grieve the loss of life as they knew it, they grieve the loss of independence. Imagine needing to ask someone for help to take a shower or get dressed or all those little things that we take for granted. Then there are the feelings that would come along with feeling inadequate, feeling like you’re not the wife you used to be or the partner you used to be. Then, sometimes, I’m sure these people worry about if they’re in a relationship, will they be rejected for this? How will they be treated? How will the people on the streets look at them? Will they be treated differently at work?

I was reading about a doctor who wrote about this and said that the first thing that people typically experience is “shock” from the sudden, traumatic amputations from like the bombing, or from a war situation (of course a sudden amputation can also be from a health problem). I’m not talking about those amputations that happen because they have complications of diabetes or peripheral vascular disease (those are the higher percentage), but of the traumatic amputations which are only about 15% of all amputations. These traumatic amputations are the ones where their first feelings might be shock. Then, as you can imagine, there’d be the “why me”, “why me”?

One thing I will leave you with is what some of the people writing about this have to say about what carries them through; this can speak to all of us as they mention their faith, the hope they have, and the caring and loving people they surround themselves with. Most especially, they say, when they had this traumatic amputation they decided that they need to go on and find their life purpose, so that they can live the life they are meant to live.

Joan Jerkovich “Your” Life Coach~Marry Girlfriend Who Drinks too Much?

I’ve been dating a girl for 2 years and really think she could be the one except for one thing. When we go out she always drinks too much to where I end up taking care of her the rest of the night. When I try to talk to her about her drinking she passes it off like she’s just a party girl having fun. Even her friends don’t get as drunk as she does when we’re out together. Should I be concerned?

Yes. Repeated instances of drinking to the point of drunkenness or passing out are not social drinking. It is a sure sign of someone who has a problem with alcohol…but you already know this, which is why you are asking this question. You have a difficult decision to make, because if you choose to make her your wife, her drinking will impact all aspects of your life. Assuming she is a problem drinker, odds are that this problem will only get worse over time.

What can you expect in a marriage to an alcoholic or binge drinker? Lies, lies and more lies about the drinking; living in fear that they will get hurt or hurt someone else by drunk driving; a roller coaster of emotions where they can be angry drunk or angry hung-over leading to a higher incidence of abusive behavior; irresponsible behavior with work, finances and children and often an escalation to other drugs. An addicts desire and need for their drug of choice will be all consuming. Yes, there is the hope of recovery, but be prepared for multiple episodes of relapse. Sorry, I know this sounds bleak, but that said, I know some really good people who suffer with addictions. This illness is one of humanities great tragedies.

Embrace your Personal Power with Life Coaching~

  • How committed are you to be with a partner who suffers with an addiction?
  • What strengths could you bring to this type of relationship?
  • What are your weaknesses and vulnerabilities?
  • Is this the type of marriage you envision for yourself and your future family?
  • How willing are you to place your heart on the line as you ride this roller coaster?

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Last week’s questions for you to read and comment on:

  • Daughter Take Abusive Boyfriend Back
  • Winter Depression, Move to Florida
  • Friend Didn’t Call For 6 Months
  • Girlfriend Not Doing Dishes Right
  • Friend’s Husband Cheating
Joan Jerkovich, BCC
Joan Jerkovich, BCC

Joan Jerkovich is a Board Certified Life Coach. Contact her with your questions, or arrange a time to talk with Joan in person on her radio talk show at www.joanjerkovich.com.

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